Mama’s Fresh-Frozen Bargain Burgers:
Unusual Stories & Articles — 161 pgs
At one point in recent history, I owned and controlled the domain name: “Bargain Burgers.com” I felt like this domain name would make me a thousand dollars, at least, but nobody wanted it — nobody saw it had money-making potential. Now I have lent this unrequited sobriquet “Bargain Burgers” to this collection of oddments and undersized fictions. Beware! Those who seek normalcy and a strict following of the ‘Rules of the Road’, in an Ed Augusts story — or article! — there is artifice, humor, weirdness, a few good ideas, and maybe a monster lurking in the underbrush… but it will never be quite what you expect! Here you will find some of these items:
The Emerald of Mars – Family Beach Story -The Dream World… What is it? Where is it? – AKA: The Big Sacred Monkey & the Haunted House, The Large & the Small of It – Wild, Wild Nature – Lilith : The Demon Goddess — Frightened – Just a Little! — Little Yellow-Green Alien Friend – There Must Be Something More… A Tale of the Yeti – The Mystery of the Pipes of Pan — Favorite Historical Occultists — Religious Stuff — A Fax That Led to a Bottomless Pit — The Good Morning That Never Was – The Pelican Bay Fiasco – Doctor Klezmer’s Device — Evil Story That Ends with a Luminous Veil – Unusual Behavior Through
the Ages — by Lucifer the Light Bringer — Ancient Romans and Jews in Tucson? — Mysterious Types of Dreams -– Illusion & Disillusionment.
I guess it is not unexpected that stories will have some local origins which may be of interest to people who live in or have enjoyed various places around the world… These stories are mostly set in the West and Southwest: Dr. Klezmer’s Device is set in Phoenix; part of it takes place in the distant future; it is the longest single item in this book. ‘Evil Story…’ is a Toronto tragedy; ‘A Fax That Leads…’ was in Phoenix, ‘A Tale of the Yeti’ was in Santa Clara, ‘Little Green Alien Friend’ was in Henderson, Nevada. ‘The Big Sacred Monkey…’ was set in San Francisco; and ‘Family Beach Story’ was Capitola and Soquel and the Santa Cruz Mountains of California. And, finally, Emerald of Mars is not of this world, at all! Bon Apetit! Not all the chicken is inedible, even if some tastes a bit metallic; it can always be used in ritual sacrifice during the Full Moon.
(Screech Owl by Gvido Augusts, circa 1970)